Family | Be Not Afraid

Making My Heart a Garden

November 4, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

I’ve been struggling with patience the past few days. And I don’t just mean a sigh or drum of the fingertips here and there. This morning, I actually threw a small garbage can at the wall in the basement after dumping out an entire basket of freshly folded laundry. Unfortunately, it seems I didn’t lose all of my muscle tone during my fairly inactive months on chemotherapy, as there is now a small dent in the wall. (The garbage can […]

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Categories: Faith, Parenting • Tags: Christianity, Family, Life

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 25 Saying No and Letting Go of the Guilt

October 26, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

I have many loving family members and wonderful friends. I am so grateful for this. I love going from place to place to spend precious time with them. It is so good for my heart. However, it is not always so good for my mind or body. I am mentally and physically exhausted right now. It seems that pumping my body with toxic chemicals (toxic, yet life-saving, such a strange dichotomy) has taken a toll and left me with extreme […]

Categories: 31 Days of Facing My Fears, Cancer, Parenting, Relationships • Tags: Cancer, Christianity, Faith, Family, Life

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 24 Embracing the Dawn

October 25, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m stuck here: Not exactly a bad place to be! But I don’t mean stuck amidst unbelievable natural beauty, starting up awe-struck at the Grand Teton’s. I mean stuck in dawn, that time when the sun is still below the horizon and things aren’t quite yet illuminated. Everywhere I look, things seem a bit hazy and unclear. I’m anxious for sunrise, when the edge of the sun breaks over the horizon, and suddenly, everything looks clear, […]

Categories: 31 Days of Facing My Fears, Cancer, Faith, Parenting • Tags: Christianity, Faith, Family, Life

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 19 Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Clarity

October 20, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

As I lay sick on the couch today, it was difficult to muster up energy to entertain John Paul with books, toys, smiles, and laughs to distract him from his newest obsession: the DVD player. Despite a strategically placed ottoman and my admittedly half-hearted attempts at distraction, John Paul could not be deterred from his newfound love. The poorly hidden DVD player is spotted: After mulling over the situation for a few seconds, John Paul takes action: Temporary defeat: He […]

Categories: 31 Days of Facing My Fears, Faith, Parenting • Tags: Christianity, Courage, Family, Life

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 18 Clear Eyes, Full Heart

October 19, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

(Thank you to my wonderful husband, Mike, for the following guest post:) For the first time in a while, maybe ever, I don’t know the next step. Until I was twenty-five, I was a continuous student, with always another school year to tackle. My first two jobs I lined up over a year in advance. A year ago, we were moving across country and expecting a baby. Eight months ago, we found out Ali had cancer. Last week, we found […]

Categories: 31 Days of Facing My Fears, Cancer, Faith, Relationships • Tags: Christianity, Family, Life

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 17 Putting Fear into Action

October 18, 2011 by allisonbenotafraid

Despite my wonderful news last Thursday, and our incredible, grace-filled weekend, I’ve felt a feeling of sadness deep in my heart the past two days. I couldn’t figure out why, until I snapped this picture of my dad and John Paul today, just ten minutes before I drove my parents to the airport so they could fly home. How beautiful to look out my living room window and see this: Although there were horrible things that came along with being […]